Last Year, This Year

So I was looking at facebook and I remembered I did a my year in statuses for 2009 and I realized that almost all of them were negative. I thought back and looked back through my journal about 2009 and I realized just how awful my year was last year. I had a hard hard year. I am ready to believe the best of 2010. I want things to be better and easier than last year. Hopefully my heart will heal and not be broken again this year. I want to think that absence will indeed end my hearts affection. But even with the desire to heal I hope 2010 brings me answers so that I might move on and find bigger and better in the future. Also I hope that I will not be betrayed, beaten, and ABUSED by my friends in 2010. I have rid my life of all the friends that did use to abuse me, I hope and I think at least. Who knows for sure? I thought after some experiences in high school and early on in college I had learned wisdom in choosing friends but alas I was wrong about that. I hope that I will not fave impossible decisions or have to be alone. I was so lonely towards the end of 2009. With my move away from Provo and my friends in Provo I had no one to talk to you and hang out with that I began to just do everything by myself. I did not make many new friends mainly because I was so hurt and turn up from my heartbreak that it was hard to be social. I have gotten use to being on my home and am quite content being by myself and that is scary because I do not wish to become a hermit. So 2010 I hope is full of new friends. Plus I admit though I do not want to have a heartbreak again I also want to have a crush again. Nothing serious, but I have not had a crush in about 10 Months and feel the need to just be excited to talk to a boy and to dress to impress but I have not had that desire in so long.