I Feel Bad

So I have been trying to describe how I feel about the last month and a half about my life. I feel like because of how things have ended with someone I should be falling apart and obsessing that is what I normally do. Why aren't I? Why am I happier than I have been in months, scratch that....YEARS! And a part of me wonders what it was all about if this is how it was meant to end? In fact, my relative peace and happiness has confused me more than anything. Then while driving last year a Rascal Flatts song I never have liked before began playing and it hit me and was exactly how I feel

And I don't know why I'm not falling apart
Like I usually do
And how the thought of losing you's not killing me
I feel bad
That I can stand here strong
Cold as stone, Seems so wrong
I can't explain it
Maybe it's just
I've cried so much
I'm tired and I'm numb Baby I hate it
I feel bad that I don't feel bad

I can let myself be angry over wasted time
And sad about just throwing love away
Yeah I almost wish my heart was breaking
But I cant lie
All I want to do is turn the page