Thankful for

THANKFUL FOR:

1. Teaching at Midvale
2. Getting paid for doing what I love
3. Students who love to say hi to me
4. Students that make me laugh
5. Students who have potential
6. Students that challenge me
   
7. My Mother who is my best friend
8. My Dad who always has an eternal prespective
9. My Sister who helps me get through hard times
10. My Brother-in-law who treats my sister like a queen and puts up with me
11. My brother-who has always be over protective but I miss in Utah
12. My Sister-in-law who used to help me through family events
13. My other brother, taught me a lot about life
14. My other sister-in-law who is the biggest peacemaker I have every meet.
15. My nieces and nephews and all in different ways; Sierra- Mary Poppins, Sydney-"Grandmas it is Sydney," stories, Ryan and Jesselyn who always want to play, Brianna just talks, Owen and Gideon are SO CUTE!!!!!!
16. Jane and everything she has helped me deal with
17. Erika, Elizabeth, and Doug for seeing me through High School and Freshman year
18. Katie
19. Megan- still one of the best people I could have in my life
20. Liz and all the laughs and craziness
21. Kyle- who picks up the pieces
22. Julie- she is a rock
23. All my friends
24. College experiences and how much they taught me
25. Old crushes and the things I learned from them
    
26. Being able to go home for Thanksgiving
27. Being able to visit my sister over Thanksgiving as well as be with my parents
28. Church
29. All the wonderful people at church: Brittany and Adam in particular today.
30. The Atonement (which is really number 1)
31. My car- which is dependable
32. Cheap gas
33. Tickets to cool events
    
34. Priesthood Power
35. Sunshine
36. Rain
37. Trees
38. MOUNTAINS!!!!!
39. Playing the Piano
40. Poetry
41. History
42. Listening to Music
43. CHRISTMAS
44. Christmas Movies
45. Christmas Music
46. Christmas Light
    

This is not a complete list but I will continue to work on it.

Thanksgiving

I should be in bed....sleeping!!!! Oh how I love sleeping but I just wanted to write and say how excited I am for THANKSGIVING!!!! To be with my parents and to see my nieces and nephews!!!! YAY!!!!! I am just so excited!!!!! Later to come is a list of things I am thankful for.

What is Love?

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is

It takes some fears to make you trust

Recently, as seen in previous posts, I have been thinking a lot about love. When is love true love and when is friendship love something more and anything else you might think about when you think about love.

Now I haven't come to any concrete conclusions and decisions but I was struck by the truth in the lines above. It takes no time to fall in love but it does take you years to know what love is. Think about it! It is so true. I fall in love all the time and I really think that this time is going to be it. But after awhile that initial high wears off and sometimes that is it and other times you discover that there is something more.

Love is constant and kind. Love picks you up when you fall down. Love is something that is so important to have in every relationship. Love is seeing some one at their worst but to know that they are better than that so you figure them. Love is the little jokes that make you smile and laugh every time you think about it. Love is the sayings that you share. Love is laughter. Love is forgiveness. Love is support. Love is complete trust. Trust that the person is not going to hurt you or betray you. Love is what we treasure most in the world. Love takes years to be this deep and is not something that is just happens. Love is putting up with the crap because you know this isn't normal. Love is everything you dream about but isn't the romantic fantasies. Love is what you depend on when everything else proves to be fake or false.

The other thing I really like is it that it says it takes fears to trust. That is so true. Speaking as someone who has a problem trusting there is a lot of fears that are in my heart every time I am thinking about letting someone in and trusting them to not hurt me. Sometimes it is the scariest think I have ever done because I was just hurt and betrayed by yet another person. And so all those fears are something that I have to choose to be able to trust someone. But in the end when I push through my fears and I trust someone and they don't let me down it has always been worth it.

Finding Joy in Life

These are all quotes from Elder Scott's Talk/Ensign Article "Finding Joy in Life." (May 1996) I have to say I love it all.....


"No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. Don’t become so absorbed in a single event that you can’t think of anything else or care for yourself or for those who depend upon you. Remember, much like the mending of the body, the healing of some spiritual and emotional challenges takes time."


"Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings... Select something like music, dance, sculpture, or poetry. Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops latent talent, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life."

"You are here on earth for a divine purpose. It is not to be endlessly entertained or to be constantly in full pursuit of pleasure. You are here to be tried, to prove yourself so that you can receive the additional blessings God has for you. The tempering effect of patience is required. Some blessings will be delivered here in this life; others will come beyond the veil. The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you."

Personal first

I have thought about how blogs are public. I am a very private person but here on my blog I write about very personal things. Now, my blog is not the cover of anonymity people know it is me and mainly my friends are the only ones who read it. So why do I feel like placing my thoughts on the internet is a SAFE enviroment!!!! I honestly don't know but there is no doubt that I do. Weird? I know. I share my personal thoughts online. Now I love it. This chance to express and think through. I need to write things to be able to process them and I feel my brain clogged when I don't have time to write about it. There are a couple posts I regret ever putting them on I was not calm or rational and I said hurtful things on them. I feel bad about my over reaction and I am sorry. This is my very public apology for it. I feel geniunely bad about it now. Still I have to say I love to be able to blog and work out my thoughts.

Happiness

So I have been thinking quite a bit lately about happiness. I have been so emotional lately. I have cried more recently than I have in pretty much my entire life. I have been all over the map and I have been so confused. But does that mean I am unhappy?

I am not sure it does to be honest. I have had great moments of happiness and I have had a feeling of confidence and self worth a lot recently. So maybe being more emotional is me actually changing and progressing from my normal status of hiding behind a wall that no one could get through. Maybe I am more in touch with myself and my emotions and am more willing to let people in all of which are a good thing. Or maybe I am unhappy?


I have had a lot of moments of unhappiness and struggle and there are a lot of things that I am not happy about right now at the same time. I used to turn to the Lord in every matter before I even thought of turning to anyone else. I would also read the Conference issues so much I could usually quote it. The last thing I used to do is I used to want to talk to every person in the ward and used to be more friendly but now I am more comfortable with the friends I have made because they are so temporary anyways. I am unhappy? Have I lost spirituality? Or am I progressing in different ways? Honestly, I am not sure.

What's wrong with Quiet Nights at home

So there has been this stigma put on people who do not go on dates or out on friday nights. This stigma states that they are huge losers because they don't have anything to do on the weekend. Tonight I was listening to my friend play the piano and I started thinking about it and I realized some of my fondest memories have come from just chillin on the weekend.

I love being calm and at home. I love not having to worry about rushing here and there and having so much to do the next day as well. I like the feeling that I can sit and take it easy. I love love my nights at home on the weekend.

So I question everyone What is wrong with staying home on the weekend? Talking to the people who matter most in your life and just being able to sit calmly and take care of myself with a little rest and relaxation. It has been a long week and sitting at the home is the perfect re-energizer. Don't judge me. Go to your parties and on your dates but don't try to tell me I am a loser or wrong because I love my nights sitting here making jokes with my friends and listening to them play the piano beautifully.